And so the story goes…

Ah bloody hell.


I am starting to have more and more sense of humour about this. It’s black humour, but at least *I* find it funny. I now look in the mirror, see my eyebrows I dyed red, and mutter to self: “well, I am officially crazy, so others would better get over that shit”. I apply the same philosophy to everything else. Hopefully I won’t end up becoming a proper sociopath.

My mood chart shows three things very clearly. 1. I can’t drink ANY amount of alcohol unless I enjoy being in the pits of hell. (I don’t.) 2. Anxiety and depression go together. 3. I have been “stablish” for the last three days, which is the longest I can remember it in recent memory. Unfortunately that means being stably mildly depressed.

Doctor sez she’s going to plop some antidepressant on top of my mood stabiliser when I have been stable and on right levels of valproic acid for two weeks. Unfortunately the Friday blood test showed my levels as too low, so that’s two weeks from next Friday onwards. And then of course it will be a few weeks until the antidepressant starts to work. So I won’t be able to do much else than read, go to the gym every now and again and wait at least another month.

I’ve been recommended two more books on bipolar disorder, but I am starting to worry I am overspending on books about BP and that is probably also a symptom. ARGHH


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